I began mourning my husband from the time he first started talking about the charts he was using to map out his sail. I knew that he was going on a single-handed sail to somewhere. It hurt that I couldnt go with him, that he wouldnt be in our bed for some time, that he would be out of my life for some time. I would be without the complications of us, but there was no joy in that. This is when I was still sure he would come back to LA and that we would pick up our lives together in a matter of months.