Treadmills & Windmills

Characters
August: As played by your most optimistic friend. Gender and pronouns are those of this friend.

Zeph: As played by the grumpiest bartender you have encountered. Gender and pronouns are those of this bartender.

Setting
A round room with white paneled walls. Empty except for AUGUST and ZEPH each on a sort of self-powered treadmill. The familiar sounds of feet thumping on whirring treadmills are present throughout.

AUGUST moves rhythmically on a treadmill, even dancing. We hear the stream of consciousness pop music coming from AUGUST’s brain. The music is familiar, but something is off, slightly dark and distorted. Think Ariana Grande singing “Side to Side,” but just “been here all night, been here all day” on a loop. It becomes clear to us that — in fact — AUGUST and ZEPH have been here all night, and all day. For a long time.

ZEPH is walking like a normal person, but with eyes closed.

AUGUST dance-walks, looks at ZEPH for a reaction, applause maybe, a polite nod, but gets nothing.

Thumping and whirring. AUGUST’s footfalls are musical. ZEPH’s are mechanical.

AUGUST
Are you awake?

Zeph?

ZEPH
Yes.

AUGUST
Your eyes are closed.

ZEPH
Because I can’t watch you do that anymore.

AUGUST
Sorry.

Thumping and whirring.

Is it annoying?

ZEPH
Yes.

AUGUST
Oh.

AUGUST is in step with ZEPH now, only the occasional flourish.

AUGUST
What’s it like today?

Did you hear what I said?

ZEPH
I don’t want to do this.

AUGUST
What’s it like today?

ZEPH
You just asked me.

AUGUST
I thought you forgot.

ZEPH
You just asked me.

AUGUST
I thought you forgot.

Like sometimes when you say something to me that you say every day. Like when you say “Lunch?” Sometimes in the moment after you say “Lunch?” I wonder if you said it. If I’m remembering you saying it from just now or from yesterday or the day before. Or if you’ve never said it at all.

Anyway that’s why I asked you again. Because I couldn't remember.

I did ask you, right?

ZEPH
Yes.

AUGUST
Did you answer?

ZEPH
No.

AUGUST
Oh.

What’s it like today?

ZEPH
FUCK

AUGUST
Did I ask already?

ZEPH
YES

AUGUST
Today?

ZEPH
YES TODAY

AUGUST
Okay sorry jeez.

Thumping and whirring.

ZEPH
It’s.
It’s kinda nice. It’s like.
Pretty cloudy overhead. But those big fluffy. You know, big clouds like. They have dimension. A lot of different shades of purple and gray. Out that way it’s blue, clear blue. It’s like a different day entirely over there. But uh. Behind us, back there, it’s looking like. It’s those dark, heavy clouds back there. Feels like a storm coming, you know that smell? That smell that makes everything feel wide open and agitated? That’s it. Things feel agitated.

AUGUST
But it’s behind us?

ZEPH
Could catch up, easy. They move fast. Faster than us.

AUGUST
But we’re heading towards the blue?

ZEPH
Yeah we’re heading towards the blue.

AUGUST
I can see it.

AUGUST moves their hands like an airbender and the room dissolves, instantly. They are surrounded by blue sky, interrupted only by a very tall windmill in the distance. We see it. AUGUST sees it. ZEPH does not. It invigorates AUGUST. ZEPH is unmoved.

ZEPH
You always ask me, why do you always ask me?

AUGUST
Who else am I gonna ask?

ZEPH
You could guess the weather just as easy.

AUGUST
I could, yeah.

ZEPH
So?

AUGUST
You always tell it so good. “Agitated”? I couldn’t… so visceral, I mean.
Plus you never asked me what the weather was.
I can’t answer if you don’t ask.

ZEPH
Oh.

AUGUST
How do you think of all those words? “Agitated,” how do you [thinking of the right word]… remember ’em?

ZEPH
They’re not impressive words.

AUGUST
You said another one… about the clouds, um…

ZEPH
Dimensional?

AUGUST
Dimensional! Or dimension? And yesterday you said - yesterday? - You said uh… OMINOUS! I don’t know I just. Words like that are just falling out of my brain like [demonstrates] blop blop blop. Klnkh. Bshhh! Bshhh!!

AUGUST continues, making progressively stranger and louder sounds for each word falling from their brain, depending on the size and significance of the word. The sky responds too, flickering and jittering as words fall, perhaps a tiny mushroom cloud for one of them. AUGUST cares for some words more than others. The final word is small, but painful to lose.

Blueberry.

AUGUST stops walking and gently lays the word to rest on the ground, as the treadmill carries them backwards, then straightens up to continue walking just before being dumped off the back. AUGUST mourns.

The sky grays and it starts to rain.

It is silent but for the thumping and whirring and raining.

AUGUST recovers and so does the weather. By the time AUGUST says “zzzzzzzzzzoo-godammnit” the room has returned to its original state, but the walls are closer now.

ZEPH
I go through the dictionary.

When you get quiet. I go through A to Z. No repeats.

AUGUST
No repeats?

ZEPH
No.

AUGUST
Unless you forget you repeated.

ZEPH
No repeats. I don’t forget.

AUGUST
…I can’t even think of… three words that begin with Z…zoo…zzzoo…zzzzzzzzzzoo-godammnit.

I’m tired today.

Thumping and whirring.

Do you ever think about what would happen if we stopped?

ZEPH
Yeah.

AUGUST
I think that when I get tired. I try not to. It’s dangerous to think that way, you know? But sometimes my legs - it’s not a cramp, it’s like a- a tingle. In my knee. Makes me walk like this.

AUGUST demonstrates. It is a walk that cannot have anything to do with alleviating a knee tingle.

AUGUST
What do you think would happen? If we stopped? What do you think would happen if we stopped?

ZEPH
Nothing.

AUGUST
That’s what you think or that’s what you’re telling me that you think.

ZEPH
That’s what I know.

AUGUST
What are you talking about?

ZEPH
Nothing would happen.

AUGUST [stating obvious fact]
The windmill would stop running. The city would lose power. Our room would lock down so they couldn’t get in and we couldn’t get out. We would starve to death.

Thumping and whirring.

ZEPH [letting it go]
Yeah, you’re right.

AUGUST ponders. Both keep walking.
AUGUST attempts to get a groove back.
The room flickers sky blue with each try.
One.
Two.
Three attempts, then—

AUGUST
Do you— do you not think that would happen?

ZEPH
Just leave it, August.

AUGUST
No, Zeph, tell me what you think would happen.

ZEPH
Nothing would happen.

AUGUST
Why?

ZEPH
Because there’s nothing out there.

AUGUST
The windmill’s out there.

ZEPH
There is no windmill.

Thumping and whirring.

AUGUST
The windmill is out there.

ZEPH
It’s not.

AUGUST
[Stating fact. Or a fairytale.]
It is, we’re in it. We’re in the bottom. We keep the engines’ base power going in case there’s no wind. And it powers the city! We power the city! Thousands of people can go- can do- can live like they did, because we power the city!

The shadows of windmill blades appear, spinning slowly and menacingly around the room.

ZEPH
Why would they count on us to do that

AUGUST
...because we messed up. We didn’t do what we were supposed to do. So we have to stay here now. And we have to guess the weather. Which helps us stay on the treadmills, because we don’t know whether it’s windy or not.

ZEPH
And who told you that

AUGUST
Told me what?

ZEPH
All of it. All of that.

AUGUST
I... they... I just, that’s just how it is. That’s what it is.

ZEPH
But who told you?

AUGUST
They did.

ZEPH
They did?

AUGUST
They did, when they brought me here.

ZEPH
Who did?

AUGUST
They… they…

ZEPH
I told you.

AUGUST
You told me…

ZEPH
Yes, I told you that. When you got here. I was here first. I told you that.

AUGUST
…I don’t remember…

ZEPH
I was here first. I told you that.

AUGUST
[Trying to think of a word that starts with z. Not ‘zoo.’]
..zz…zzzz…zzzzzoo.

ZEPH
And whoever was here when I got here, that’s who told me.

AUGUST
Who?

ZEPH
Whoever.

AUGUST
…whoever…

ZEPH
How tall is the windmill?

AUGUST
It’s.. it’s a thousand, a thousand feet…

ZEPH
Did you ever see it? When you lived in the city, did you ever see it?

AUGUST
…

ZEPH
A one thousand foot windmill? Do you know how tall that is?

AUGUST
…

No.

ZEPH
[Gestures at the obvious conclusion.]

AUGUST
But.

But.

But if.

Thumping and whirring.

AUGUST stops walking.

AUGUST steps off the treadmill. Clumsily finding their footing on solid ground, arms outstretched for balance.

The shadows of the windmill disappear when AUGUST’S feet touch the floor. The walls are closer now. AUGUST looks around the room. They move to the back wall. And put their hand up slowly to touch it. The wall comes crumbling down, violent and loud. ZEPH is unmoved, still walking. All around them the sky is red and dusty, a circle of rubble on the ground where the wall used to be.

There is no windmill.

AUGUST

Why do you keep walking?

ZEPH

What else am I supposed to do.

AUGUST turns and slowly steps back to their empty treadmill. As they place their first foot back on it, the room returns in an instant. The walls are white and round and where they should be.

AUGUST starts to walk again. In step with ZEPH.

Thumping and whirring.