Excerpt from Hot Lunch Apostles

Barney, the carnival barker, and his assistant Loop are planning the schedule for their next few weeks.

BARNEY

You got the list, Loop?

LOOP

I got the ones I remembered, Barney. Not the ones I forgot, but the remembered ones.

BARNEY

Let’s see: Medicine Bow on the 10th. Geeks, tits, burlesque. Okay. Backstage after 10. No gospel, no hot lunch. Good, that’s simple. That was a good show last year.

LOOP

That’s always a good show, Barney.

BARNEY

Bad Bluff on the 12th. Same show. Cut ’n Shoot on the 14th. What’s Cut ’n Shoot?

LOOP

Cut ’n Shoot’s the place with the alfalfa dehydratin’ plant just north of Kolmar. There was a strike last year, so we didn’t go. Too many cops.

BARNEY

Right. Cut ’n Shoot on the 14th. Big on geeks, tits up, fags up, backstage anytime. A good straight show. Henrietta on the 18th. I hate that fuckin’ place. One smell of pussy can get you crucified in Henrietta. Preachers got dogs out there sniffin’ for pussy. Won’t we have that gospel shit ready by then?

LOOP

It won’t be ready till Liplock, Barney. Jesus is still just a little baby.

BARNEY

Well, can’t we just skip Henrietta and come back with a gash crucifixion next month?

LOOP

Burn’s an extra 70 miles by way of Aftosa, and you know what that’s like.

BARNEY

Okay. Henrietta on the 18th. Morality geek, family burlesque, holy songs. Terrific.

LOOP

The girls like it, Barney. Puttin’ it on instead of takin’ it off.

BARNEY

Okay. Burn on the 21st. Full geek, sex end, fags up, tits up, no gospel, no hot lunch. Hey, wait a minute. Why no hot lunch in Burn? That’s railroad, ain’t it?

LOOP

Duck Lake’s only 12 miles. You got oil, you got gobble girls. It’s not worth the hassle.

BARNEY

Liplock on the 25th. Our gospel debut!

Contributor

Sidney Goldfarb

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