Theater
excerpt from: The Internationalist

Lowell, an American on his first business trip to a unnamed west or west-eastern European country, is met unexpectedly at the airport by a beautiful colleague, Sara. This scene takes place that evening.
LOWELL
Hmmm. And is that interesting here, to be foreign?
Sara laughs.
You know, the accent, is that mysterious.
SARA
But we’re speaking English so you don’t have an accent. If you were trying to speak my language—people are always more appealing when they’re unintelligible.
Lowell starts to laugh.
LOWELL
(He thinks it’s an artful mispeak.)
That’s witty
SARA
Yes, I know
She calls out:
yald ain tant amora koi psam psitay ald imitricikts dor ald tioforian korim tic. Seldis umicktrig orit inial tse hambit orderist il rarin di dam tid norris dimit ona alagoric toyfay int timit oil ald harrick mono borin tam pist i sawan taiya t’noiding lola ka dita hiya fimolla naid he tiad ald terrim kimal doi pimmick ori horind dalna imp porrie gala hondick tibald timiharu. Ai be a toman idat tora abala mot.
She looks back at him.
SARA
I ordered us drinks.
LOWELL
That was ordering drinks?
SARA
There’s more than one way to order drinks. Okay.
The waiter lowers a tray with two really very tiny glasses, like half-shot glasses, brim full with viscous red-brown liquid.
(To the waiter)
Nad um it orrit imhala tasang al bamadia oritio ib saman.
(To Lowell)
You might like this. It’s local. Very typical. But we don’t usually serve it to tourists. Are you certain you’re game?
LOWELL
Absolutely. What is it?
Gingerly picks up the bauble, in a toast.
SARA
No I mean really, you’re going to have a hard time.
LOWELL
You’re joking.
SARA
I’m not.
LOWELL
I’m not at all afraid of a hard time.
SARA
You’re not.
LOWELL
No. There’s a Latin phrase about that. I forget what. Something about knowledge.
SARA
Well then. Caveat emptor
LOWELL
Buyer beware.
As he’s raising it to his lips.
SARA
It’s not like a…(thinking of the word) shot, you sip it.
He does so. His face totally screws up.
LOWELL
Oh my God.
SARA
Yeah it’s—
LOWELL
Oh my God.
SARA
Try to live through it. Try to just—
His hands are sort of floundering around on the table.
LOWELL
Water. Water.
SARA
No you can’t—
He calls out to the waiter.
LOWELL
Water! Water!
SARA
It’s a chemical thing. You’ve got to take another sip You’ve got to (she demonstrates)—see? sip. It’s counterintuitive.
LOWELL
What?!?
SARA
Take another sip. Take another sip.
LOWELL
Oh no. Water!
SARA
He’s not going to bring you water no you’ve got to, just you’ve got to, you’ve got to take another sip.
Take another sip. Believe me.
He does so, his face wrenches up and then clears.
See?
LOWELL
Oh my God.
SARA
Take another one.
He does so. It registers.
LOWELL
That’s bizarre.
SARA
Yes it’s peculiar.
LOWELL
That’s just bizarre.
SARA
You see. Now you take another.
He takes another tiny sip.
LOWELL
What is this?
SARA
Aren’t you glad now that you did it?
Take another sip
LOWELL
It’s insane.
SARA
Do you like it?
LOWELL
It’s really good.
SARA
You have to suffer first. It’s a philosophic beverage.
The Internationalist, written by Anne Washburn, directed by Ken Rus Schmoll, produced by 13P, will run April 17–May 9, 2004 at The Culture [email protected] Bleecker Street
for more info: www.13P.org, tickets: $15
Contributor
Anne WashburnAnne Washburn's transadaptation of Euripides' Orestes runs through April 11.
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