The Starry Skies Above: Astro Forecasts

Aries With typically no thought for personal safety you’re diving for pearls amidst the May typhoons. Beware emotional nets, barnacles, and limpets however. Whatever your entanglements, after the 26th it’s time to surface and face the storms. Far better for you to be thrashing things out in open air, fine-tuning your exhilarating repartee.

Taurus Early summer is the time to reread Ferdinand the Bull. Or just sit and make daisy chains in the park with your nearest and dearest. Things could get a wee bit hotter entering July, as those rotting, wilting chains drag you into romantic deadlocks with someone just as stubborn as yourself. Hide the extra key about your person and take an occasional break to eat.

Gemini The last week of May is a fever-pitched gyroscope, flinging you out to all the corners of the universe. Romantically, this makes you very attractive to the multidimensional, tri-gendered, beings that inhabit the margins of the cosmos. Too bad they’re all at war with one another. With all of this adulation comes a serious responsibility. On June 10th you’ll feel driven to negotiate a lasting peace.

Cancer Here’s a date to remember: June 3rd. Draw red hearts around it, smother it in rose petals. Propose to your sweetie. Proposition your neighbor. Milk your spouse for kisses. And should there be a contender for your affections lurking in the shadows, fear not. Grab your diary, throw down the gauntlet, and draw a boxing ring around July 1st: the day you win the duel.

Leo You are attracted to freaks, eccentrics, and depressives this summer. Perhaps because they are the only ones who believe you are who you  say you are. But if Mayor Giuliani can suddenly become Sir Rudy Churchill in his country’s hour of need, then why shouldn’t you turn out to be the only descendant of Ozzy Osbourne’s long lost African explorer great great aunt?

Virgo Mercury going retrograde on May 16th sends you batty. Hyperventilating. In fact, you’re like a domestic robot with a power surge, deadheading dirty wine glasses with your mouth. Don’t go near any main frames, please. After June 9th, however, while you’re still in full-on scary action mode, you are only dangerous to others—especially intimate others—not yourself.

Libra Read the other signs. They’re all going totally mental this summer. And guess what? In their continuous hours of darkest need, they’re all crying out for you, crawling on their bellies over dirt and ice and gravel to your door. My advice—remember that insanity is indeed contagious, take the phone off the hook, and book a flight Elsewhere.

Scorpio The home truths emerge. And for once you’ve met your match. All your most perverse and cunningly hid secrets are being toyed with in mid-air by a team of Quidditch players from the hood. No choice then, but to be the golden snitch. Fess up and have a silly giggle and a cuddle. Play it from the heart, and you may even win the House Cup.

Sagittarius Events of the last week of May will be a direct affront to your famous open, idealistic philosophy of life. In fact, you may take it all quite personally. But please don’t get overwhelmed by outrage. Direct those pointy arrows straight to the heart of darkness and come out the other side with the insights others desperately require.

Capricorn You hate May. Period. In reaction to its haywire antics, by June 24th you’ve got your famous plans all tidied up like candies in a lock box. Then comes the New Mood, July 10th, and all your luscious chocolates melt in the cosmic night heat. Try not to think of it as a disaster. Dip your spoon in, swirl and share. It could be the start of something truly beautiful.

Aquarius June 10th heralds the beginning of a whole new career. Think designer cocktails, ethnopharmacology, mystical inventions, cruise subs to Atlantis—it's all a go big time. But mind your associates—something tells me they will be long on ideas but short of funds, so unless the money’s upfront, plan to journey solo to the limits of your creative universe.

Pisces Cash machines will give you free money until June 9th. But then, for the sake of those you love, its best to stay inside for a month. It's just so wild out there this summer, and I’m afraid you’ll run off with the gypsies and never come back. So, curfew is imposed. Your reward will come July 10th, with a heightened sense of true belonging to your destiny.

Contributor

Naomi Foyle

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